So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
