Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
