either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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