he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
