I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
Randomize