i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
North Korea, Best Korea!
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Randomize
