So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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