I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
then he tried to convert me to islam
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Randomize
