and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
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