Umm I'm too high to move.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
