I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
