sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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