I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize