Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Randomize
