3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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