i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
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