On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
