I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
she pinky promised me she was 18
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Randomize
