YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Randomize
