Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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