i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
