you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
