Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
