I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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