So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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