i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
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