im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Randomize
