apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize