Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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