my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Randomize
