Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
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