Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
