I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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