I only kidnapped one of them. chill
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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