ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize