Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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