i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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