You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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