I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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