everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
It's official drugs can't kill me
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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