Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Terrible idea I love it
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
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