Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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