wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
