I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
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