I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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