idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Randomize
