I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
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