We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
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