Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Randomize
