just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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