party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
