Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
