did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
