i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
