He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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