Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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