Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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