My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
