he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I skipped work to stalk him.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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