I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Can I color on your dick again?
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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