Can i not drive my cunt home
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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