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i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Duck Duck Cougar?
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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