I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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