He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
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