is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
